Friday, March 20, 2009

The Mother-in-Law

This title should say it all, right?!

I am feeling a bit like a mama lion right now so bare with me here.

My child is 6 yrs old. She is at an age where she likes to play and not just sit around. It's normal. She wouldn't be normal if she did want to just sit around and do nothing.

My daughter has a cousin who just turned 2 yrs old. This child has a mother and father who prefers to party rather than taking on their parental roles. This child (along with his mother) lives with my mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law watches my child a couple days a week while my husband and I are at work. She also takes care of her other grandchild all the time cause again, the parents are all about themselves first. However, her idea of taking care of this other grandchild is by putting him on the floor to watch TV or to play by himself while she is on the computer. all. day. long.

Now, just the other day when she was watching my child, well...in reality, my child was over there playing with her Aunt while my MIL once again was on the computer, my child overheard her say to someone that "she needs a break from taking care of her. It's just too much." First of all, SHE really wasn't watching my child, the Aunt was. This woman is lazy. She doesn't do anything but sit at the computer or watch her soaps. Meanwhile, this woman will go out of her way to drive up the street to pick up her other grandchild (the boy) when he isn't there with her cause "he likes being with me more". Are you fricken kidding me????? She'll go out of her way to pick this 2 yr old up and watch him but she needs a break from my child??? What's she gonna do when this kid is 6 like my child? What it is is that she has control over this other grandchild and she doesn't with my daughter. My MIL is a control freak and it bothers her that we open our mouth when it comes to our child when my SIL doesn't when it comes to her kid and my MIL feels like she has control.

What the hell is wrong with this woman?? I'm pissed!!!! One, for the fact that she said this in front of my child who now has her feelings hurt and two, because I feel like my child is being treated "second fiddle" to her other grandchild. My MIL wanted grand kids, so now she has them and she is playing favoritism??!!

My child is a good kid. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blind like some parents. She has her moments like all kids but she is a very well mannered kid and is sweet. However, in that house she gets away with too much. In our house there are rules but when she's over there, my MIL likes to play "good grandma" cause she is competitive and wants to be liked more than the other grandma. Sick! But for the fact that she expects my child to just sit there, watch TV and not be active like all 6 yr olds should be just so she can be lazy and play on the computer just infuriates me.

I guess I should be happy that she doesn't want to watch my child. At least I can raise my child with the rules I expect to be enforced where ever she goes. We don't have a problem anywhere else but at that house. My husband and I both are just beyond ourselves right now. My poor husband couldn't sleep last night cause he was so mad. My main concern is my child's feelings. When you mess with my kid, you mess with me!!

6 comments:

  1. Visiting from BSU and I'm so sorry you and your daughter to have to put up with this baloney. You Go, Girl

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  2. (((hugs))) (also visiting from BSU)

    My MIL watches my niece 3 days a week and usually a couple of nights a month, but apparently my kids are too much. *sigh* I think its becuase the niece belongs to her daughter and my kids belong to her son...I hope to never ever show favouritism to any future grandkids like this. It is SO hurtful.

    I hope your beautiful little girl is okay.

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  3. She deserves a swift kick in the ass.

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  5. Well, this just sucks! My mother keeps our 4 year old 3 days a week. Our problem was the things my mother would say about my WIFE in front of her! I had to have a talk with her and set things right.

    Things did get better, but then we noticed that our oldest daughter (9 years old) didn't want to go to her house anymore. When we asked her why, she said, "All she does is yell at me and Vivi gets all of the attention and can do nothing wrong!"

    It was time for another talk. Hopefully things will change for the better, but we'll see.

    Good luck with your MIL! I hope things get better for you!

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  6. Wow... I feel like i have heard about this situation before... oh wait I have! LOL..
    Are we related? or.. I almost feel like we're both in the exact same situation.
    My son is 6 and my MIL watches him a few days a week (not a whole work week) She takes care of my SILs daughter because she's a drug addict and left her child with my MIL. Also, she doesn't 'watch' the kids she rents them games for the computer/tv/nintendo's etc... and that is their babysitter. We're trying to eventually get a babysitter, but you just can't trust anyone anymore - but really if I let my MIL watch my son, anyone else should be fine! I bet you if i had food on the table and snacks at their beck and call and put them in front of the tv/computer etc each day they would be fine... but the fact of the matter is my MIL should get off her A$$ and watch the kids, play with them do something with them right!
    So - I bought my MIL this book, called Mother in-Law Manual. It's by Susan Lieberman and will help her learn to be a gracious and good mother in law. There are things I would like to say to my mother-in-law that I never will, that this book could possibly do for me.
    I have given it to her last month - and i had to read it before i gave it to her (since one day i will be a mil i think!) and I've actually seen some progress. Obviously this wont happen overnight, but I have seen some improvements (not in the babysitting area) but in different ares and who knows - this could help you too!

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